I first found faith, and thought I had all truth. I then discovered doubt, and claimed a more accurate truth. Now I’ve greeted paradox and a deeper truth than I have ever known.
Once there was a gentile. who came before Hillel. He said “Convert me on the condition that you teach me the whole Torah while I stand on one foot.” Hillel converted him, saying: That which is despicable to you, do not do to your fellow, this is the whole Torah, and the rest is commentary, go and learn it.”
Re: Dating a non member
When it was time to go to BYU and prepare for my mission, I left to go to BYU. She talked one time with me if I could stay back east, closer to where she was in college, and we could give it a chance if someday we get married. I told her no.
I had my life goals, BYU, mission, marriage. I wanted to find someone that fit into my life goals, not give up my goals for someone.
I don’t think there is one person we marry, I think if we put ourselves in the right places, we find lots of options of who we choose to marry.
But, I realize the person is more important than just being a member of the church or not. Member, or non-member, is that person helping you be who you want to be and reaching your life goals, or are you changing who you are to try to not lose someone you like? Religion is a part of who you are, but it is not cut and dry, any church member will make you happy, and all non-members sanning om Polska brudar will keep God from blessing you. It doesn’t work that way.
Just make a list in your journal of what you want in life, what do you see yourself in 10 years from now being. Then be patient and let the right person who helps you achieve your goals to come to you.
Re: Dating a non member
This is one that you have to decide on your own, and there is no one true answer. I’ve known LDS members in mixed faith marriages who are wonderfully happy, and I’ve known members in similar marriages who were miserable – mostly due to expectations and conflicts, many of which are common to all marriages. Respect, love, commitment and a willingness to stay together regardless of whether or not either of you changes religions eventually is the key, in my opinion.
1) The downside is that the divorce rate for Mormon/non-Mormon ong all self-identifying religious populations – about 41% when I did the research a few years ago. That means the success rate is about 59% – but that rate is just for the marriages that don’t end in divorce, not the marriages where each person stays actively committed to the religion they attended at the time of their marriage. It’s just a guess, but I estimate as many as 70% of such marriages end up in divorce OR with the Mormon spouse becoming inactive in order to save the marriage.
2) The upside, I believe, is that “sealing” happens over time, not through a ceremony. There are temple married couples who never become sealed in any real, powerful, binding way even if they never divorce, and there are non-temple married couples who really do become sealed so tightly neither Heaven nor Hell can separate them. I believe deeply that God will not put asunder what two people have sealed together – and our temple theology teaches that, since we do sealings for the dead.