For that reason, go with your gut. Think about it first, for sure, but don’t be too concerned with what other people think. If you want to wait, that’s great. If you don’t want to wait, don’t.
Should you even have sex?
Before we get into the “when,” have you asked yourself this question? Should you have sex at all? Do you want to have sex? Why? [Read: How to not be nervous before having sex with someone and just enjoy it]
Sex is something shared and enjoyed. It shouldn’t be given as a reward or taken as a punishment. It shouldn’t be because you feel like you have to or you don’t want to be a prude.
Before figuring out when the right time to have sex is, think about if you want to have it at all.
Only when you want to have sex, it is time to think about when you should have sex. [Read: How to become sexually active & enjoy the experience when it’s time]
When should you have sex?
Whether you’re a virgin or you just don’t know when to have sex with a new partner, it is all up to you.
Even if you waited three months to have sex with your ex, it doesn’t mean you have to wait that long with someone new or that you can’t wait longer.
You can always change your mind. Sex is not a contract. Just because you said you’d do it earlier doesn’t mean you have to now. You can back out at any time. [Read: How long should you wait before having sex?]
No one can say that if you want a relationship, you should wait X amount of months before having sex.
There’s no way to know whether he will think you’re easy if you do it too soon or he’ll think you’re a prude if you wait too long.
None of that is true. And if someone believes it, that is on them and is their problem, not yours. [Read: Having sex too soon – consequences you have to be prepared for]
So, when should you have sex? When you feel comfortable and all parties have given consent. Sure, that isn’t romantic.
Nor is it advice. Even if you tell yourself you want to wait X amount of weeks before having sex, these things often don’t go as planned.
Sometimes passion overtakes plans. Other times, things get in the way or you aren’t in the mood. [Read: Why do we STILL silently and unfairly https://getbride.org/sv/hetaste-italienska-kvinnor/ judge women who love sex?]
There is no perfect time to have sex. There is no magic amount of time to wait to make it perfect or for the person you’re sleeping with to think of you the right way.
The other issue and the reason why we are so distracted with how soon or how late to have sex is that we think if we give it up too soon, we’re not holding the cards of power anymore.
You see, dating is a power game in many ways. It’s wrong, for sure, but that’s how it is. [Read: The dirty truth about losing your virginity no one told you]
Whether you believe this to be right or not, if a woman sleeps with someone on a first date, their partner may think that they can get whatever they want now, because they’ve given up their power.
For sure, feelings tend to accelerate when sex is involved, but if you’re someone who’s pretty good at separating the two and you want to go for it, why should you have to worry about power games?